Happy Easter, world. It’s been a fun weekend in China.
On Saturday Derek and I took a bus headed toward
Hong Mei Park. On the way, we passed a miniature Great Wall
and theme park and got off to explore that instead. First we found some nice public exercise equipment to tool
around on, then wandered into a gas station to satisfy Derek’s coca-cola addiction.
Just as about five grungy gas station attendants were closing
in on us with their rambling Chinese, I hear “Teacha Kristen!” One of my cute
little 3rd graders, Angela had seen me from outside on her way to
the Zoo and ran into the store to give me a hug.
We continued on about ten feet, and I noticed a tiny puppy
chained up outside. Derek said, “Do not touch that dog.” So I petted and played
with my new furry friend, whose name I found is WaWa. While petting the dirty
gas station dog, I turned around to see Derek on a basketball court, dunking
the ball while a dozen sweaty guys “ooh” and “aahh” his tall white boy skillz.
Ball so hard.
Eventually we made it to an overpriced “theme park” but instead of going in, posed for
pictures with mobs of junior high school students on a school trip
outside the gates. I even signed some autographs.
We then
wandered to the park, made some friends, bought a kite, and scored front row
seats to Chinese COPS. Today’s episode featured an officer playing tug-of-war with
a screaming lady over a kite, who in the end kicked HIS butt, or rather, she
swung the giant wrapped up kite right at his rump.
Easter
Sunday
Easter morning went like this: I
woke up at 5:50 am, left at 6. Waited at the freezing bus stop for 30 minutes. Got the
train station at 7:30, enjoyed a hearty Mcdonalds breakfast. On the
train at 7:55am.
Arrived at Suzhou train station 8:30 am.
Then with my over-confident “Trust me I lived in New York” attitude, I convinced
everyone that a bus with the correct number, headed in the direction of our
stop, would actually GO to our stop. Silly Kristen. By 10 am, the last of our group finally made it to the Hiatt’s house
for the last half of Easter sacrament meeting.
After
church we were treated to another delicious pot-luck and mingle. Our branch has
a wonderful smattering of expatriates and visitors, from near and far. Some
take trains and busses and subways to church. Others squeeze a family of five on a single moped. This week we had a family of visiting relatives from India, who
had never been to a Christian church before. I love them all.
Our
awesome tour guide and ward member, Brother Hiatt, led me and a few others on a scenic 9 mile
bike ride around a lake in Suzhou. I practiced riding an e-bike for a while
too, so you could say I am one step closer to my goal of obtaining my
motorcycle license. (Last time I rode one of those mopeds I nearly killed
myself, the dude I was with, and a parked car.)
Just as
we were preparing to sit down and watch what I’m sure was a gut-wrenching
documentary, Brother Hiatt offered to take whoever wanted on the e-bikes to
“somewhere cool.” So Derek and I joined him on a speedy journey dodging cars,
busses, bikes, and people, to a REAL Chinese market.
Seriously
the place he took us was the first time I felt like I was in third world China, a narrow maze of food mongers and grocery shoppers
festering under a canopy of blue tarps.
If anyone out there likes to complain about where your food really
comes from, this is the place for you.
I thought I saw (and smelled) a lot back when I walked through
NYC’s Chinatown on the daily. Such a fool to believe. In REAL Chinatown, we
encountered every type of animal and every type of body part/organ you can
imagine hanging by hooks, dripping blood onto the street. We saw live birds, frogs,
snakes, eels, turtles, fish of every kind being scaled and gutted alive. And of
course there was tons of fresh produce with freakish things like snap peas
longer than my hand.
The
phrase “eat fresh” took on a new meaning when I visited the chicken stand.
Select a chicken or duck from the cage, and within 5 minutes a cheery, smiling
woman will slaughter it, steam it, remove it’s feathers and head, clean out the
guts and any eggs she may find (the prize inside the cereal box), and give you
fresh bag of poultry. All right in front of your very eyes. Yum.
China has
verified one thing for me: I have a very strong stomach.
Another
dodgy e-bike ride, car ride, and train ride later, we arrived back in
Changzhou. We were about to get on a bus, when someone said, “Is Derek here?”
Negligent
Sister of the Year Award goes to Kristen, for not realizing her brother was
still asleep somewhere on the train we got off of 20 minutes ago. All we knew
was this: he has no phone, he has no passport, he knows no Chinese, and he
sleeps like a rock. And we had no idea where that train was headed. Oops.
A few of
us spent an hour trying to communicate with the train station authorities with
conversations like this: “Our friend fell asleep. Please call this train. Wake
him up. Send him to Changzhou.”
“Oh, understand. How many tickets you want?”
At last we were told that he was no longer on the train, so we got a taxi home
hoping for the best. We thought we’d be sneaky and fit 6 people in a taxi, but
that pissed off our driver. When we tried to bribe him he was even more
enraged, which was one time I’m glad I can’t understand Chinese.
So Bryan,
Kayla, and I found a new taxi driver, and showed him our address. It took another
hour, an incorrect destination, a roundabout freeway route, 105 Yuan, and
some yelling to finally get home.
Just when
I’d been thinking how much my mother could NEVER find out about Derek going
missing, I open my door to see him chillin on my bed, checking his twitter as
usual. Happy Easter, Jerk.
